New Years Eve gonna kick-ass

I have to say, New Years has been the only holiday not to hurt me yet lol.

I can't wait for tonight, skating with Casey, Kelly, and Celeste.

Then possibly sonny's house if i can get ahold of him.... maybe isaac will come and we can have another nerf gun fight!!!! (hopefully ike won't spend his time lighting his gas like last time.... lol)

But until then.. I'm here at work, woohoo. Gonna go work on the whole triplet thing on drums (right, left, bass, right, left, bass, rinse repeat.) I can do it fast enough.. but it takes me a while to work up to that.

How is everyone!?!?!?! cause i'm fantastic!

getting sloppy

Bla, I need to practice more guitar, and drums.

I mean seriously, I work in a music store, why am i not amazing??? lol

Any suggestions on cool songs to learn, i need more influences.

Life is pretty awesome, mom's happy, I'm happy, dog's... happy (?) (well who wouldn't be when the only responsibility you have is eating sleeping and chasing a ball.)

Pretty aggravated at the court system though, jen needs to come down.

I may be moving to arkansas.

Smells like dental.... and Nazi

So everyone, I recommend you go see The Spirit.

Hilarious in a cheesy way... the title of my blog... yeah, its actually a line in the movie. ha. ha... giggle.. giggle... gasp.... HA! giggle giggle.

So besides Samuel L. Jackson's obsession with eggs and his cat muffin (friggan hilarious!), talked about Britney Spears's inspiration for her "womanizer" song "she must have came up with it while shaving her head" -quote of myself


So yeah, sour lifesavers, the spirit, and crazy pop singers.... it was a good day.

Work. Strained Muscles. Fresh Prince of Bel-Air

Ha, so I worked from 10-8 today.

Helped Stephanie break down all the Christmas stuff.

Taught myself some Cello.

Sold the Valveking full stack.

Listened to some random people play guitar and drums, it was entertaining and pretty random.

Elissa texted me wondering if Casey was my girlfriend. (cause everyone seems to think so)

Casey came to work (go figure lol).

Almost perfected that one stupid drum roll.

Watched some house and family guy at Casey's after treating everyone to dairy queen.

Learned to like Diet Mountain Dew.

Took a shower, and while headbanging to dry my hair i pulled a muscle or something in my chest, and now it hurts to breathe.....

What's worse is that I still find it funny, and it hurts to laugh lol.

Now after I had some left over ribs, I'm watchin some fresh-prince. Yay the 90's... good times good times.

Goodnight world, 'twas a good day.

New project

So I'm now going to post the lyrics of whatever song I'm learing to sing and play. I guess it'll keep me on track.


Project #1

John Mayer- Heart of Life

I hate to see you cry lying there in that position
There's things you need to hear
So turn off your tears and listen
Pain throws your heart to the ground
Love turns the whole thing around
No it won't all go the way it should
But i know the heart of life is good

You know it's nothing new
Bad news never had good timing
Then the circle of your friends
Will defend the silver lining

Pain throws your heart to the ground
Love turns the whole thing around
No it won't all go the way it should
But i know the heart of life is good

Pain throws your heart to the ground
Love turns the whole thing around
Fear is a friend who's misunderstood
But i know the heart of life is good.
I know it's good.

This world...

Is made of hypocrites and liars.

Because something someone says is bad, doesn't make it necessarily wrong. If you are a liar, and someone calls you a liar, sure that might be a bad thing to say, but its the truth.

The ones who call someone a liar, they are hypocrites, otherwise they wouldn't recognize a lie. The ones who say its a bad thing to say are naive.

With experience comes hypocrocy and truth, from naivity is lies and unintentional deception.

You can never amount to anything more than another statistic, and by the path your choosing, it seems your going to end up on the side of bad examples. It amuses me because I was never the one to blame, and I've been right this whole time.

Reality hits, and it hits hard, hopefully some of your friends will be there when you fall cause I'm not sure I will.

So...

Merry fucking christmas world.

The holidays don't seem to bring me anything but suffering.

I think I'm going to cancel my birthday this year... don't want anything else going wrong.

Skating gladiators climbing a wall

Ha so Celeste, Casey, Me, and Casey's brother and sister all went skating today at the skate center place.

Pretty fun, but there was this one kid wearing green that was being a prick.... he'd try and trip you and I went behind him, laughed and said "Do it to me, I'll kick you in the face." Laughed again, and rolled off. I found it kinda humorous cause I was staring at him until he left.

Anyway, they had this area of fun and amazingness.... which cost $3 and consisted of the gladiator area(?), the rock climbing wall, and the Velcro Wall. I beat the crap out of Celeste (see picture), almost broke my neck on the Velcro Wall, and "friggan shot up the side of the rock climbing wall (casey)."

Made fun of Fuzzy Navals and Belly Buttons.

and yeah.... thats basically it... Skating is fun and I think we're goin to the new year's skate thing.

Sonny and Sam

So I'm really glad that two of my awesome friends are now engaged.

Kinda envious though, but I guess that's expected from a lot of people.

Makes me miss what I had, lol plans never work out for me. :/

But yeah, CONGRATS SAM AND SONNY!

I better be an usher. lol

Socks at Food Lion

Ok, So today was pretty cool.

Slept in, went with Casey, Erin, and my mom to dinner and a movie (mom's laugh......).

Then as we were heading home Celeste texted me asking what I was doing tomorrow, I told her work, but then said we should all hang out tonight.

So we decided to go skating..... (Celeste being the person she is... neglects to bring socks.)

So I run into food lion yelling "Don't laugh, this is a serious question.... Do you guys sell socks."

So $3.59 later and an awkward conversation with the cashier.. I have her blue socks.

We get to the skating place, and the guy gives us free passes cause go figure, its closed on sundays after 6...

Celeste being the person she is... again. Suggests the mall.. woohoo! (After suggesting Ireland and Canada, of course)

So we go to the mall, run around a while, stalk a random guy, and decide to buy some pajamas.

"Let's have a pajama party in Shane's car!" -Celeste

We get dressed in Barnes and Noble. Then we all load up in the car again and head off to Best buy to perform our first song as a band on the conveniently placed electric drum set, guitar, and mic.

Of course Celeste is off in her own little world drumming, Casey is singing jingle bells, and I'm singing and playing Slow Dancing In A Burning Room.

After Celeste begs us to leave best buy (the best place in the world), we head to get coffee (speaking of which I got celeste her "christmas present", the one eyebrowed dear)

We take some pics and videos in the car on the way back to celestes.

But i think we're goin to the New years skate party, it seems like it'll be pretty cool.

Pretty good day before tomorrow. Who's gonna visit me?

Medication, Metaphors, and poems

Hearts keep you alive, yes. But they are also the worlds metaphor for love and good feeling.

You say to the people you love, that they'll always have a place in your heart, because we've been taught that that is our epicenter of love. So it would make sense to keep the ones you care for there, or at least their memory.

I believe that our heart is capable of emotion in itself. Yeah of course its our brain, but we are directly effected in our hearts when something happens to stir said emotions.

Our heartbeat was synchronized,
Feelings the same.
The cadence of good feeling,
and I'm the one to blame.

I tried to hit my drum harder,
Tried to force out the rain.
Instead I broke it,
Leaving the lasting pain.

Taped it up as best as I could,
I got used to the sound.
You tried to repair it,
But I kept my ground.

Our heartbeat still synchronized,
Though mine needing repair.
I tried my best to keep up,
But It started to tear.

I told you to move forward,
While I fixed what I could.
For its hard to keep up,
When the drum is no good.

I salvaged what I could,
And was on my way.
But when I looked up,
My place was given away.

You had skipped a beat,
Saw an opportunity and jumped ahead.
I sped up,
Trying to catch up to you instead.

I now practice in the rain,
To match what I had.
But its pointless these days,
Because the rain makes me so sad.

December 22nd

Last year, my dad died on December 21st at roughly 11:56 pm.


The nurse got there past 12, so his death was declared on my mom's birthday.


The 22nd is Monday, and I'd appreciate some hugs or something... its going to be a rough day, I'll be at work from 10-8 please, someone stop by.

House?

So, normally after work I go to Casey's and we chill and watch recorded episodes of house.

And I've come to realize that "auto-immune," "tumor," "infection," and "cancer," are favorites in House's diagnostic process.

Its kind of humorous in a way... Cameron is always the one to mention Auto-Immune. House is the one who says infection.

Anyway... its still a pretty cool show.

5 weeks in boston

So, yesterday I got a letter in the mail about Berklee's summer program.

I would spend 5 weeks in Boston, studying jazz and music composition.

The only problem is its $7000.

But I'm going to start my application today, I'm pretty much guaranteed in just from experience and I'm pretty excited.

The only problem with great days is your tired when its all over

So today was the DECA marketing competition.

I went to school, we got on a bus at about 8:50.

Mr. Kelly drove.... lol

He treated us to IHOP. Bill = $125

We get there and I just chill with Katelyn, Trey Seneff, and Trey Washburn until it was my turn for the first competition scenario.

I was entered into Retail Marketing by the way. In the DECA contest, you are put through scenarios in which the judge will, well, judge you on how well you can act in a given situation with limited preparation time. There are 2 judges per category and each will judge you on a different scenario

First Scenario:
I'm owner of an 85 store mall. I must convince a reluctant store owner (my judge) to participate in a promotional project that involves getting 6 stamps from different stores to get 20% off a purchase.

I do great, I even stumped my judge by trying to get details about her store. I tell her that her store may lose money if she doesn't use the promotion to her advantage and decorate her store to draw customers away from the stamp and towards her best selling products. But nonetheless it will benefit her greatly.


Second Scenario:
I'm manager of the night shift of a small bookstore. I must convince the owner of the store that the profit will outweigh the expenses should we purchase the lot next to us that used to be a restaraunt.

This one was difficult. The judge wanted to hear how i could figure out the outcome before we did the big project. I told him a story of a presidential election in which someone who supported one of the candidates, sold color coded peanuts (blue for democrat and red for republican) to the people of america, the ones that sold the most represented who would become president.

I told him to make a minor change, and offer it to the usual customers, and see if they were ok with something new. He liked the idea. Then I explained how the expenses will be big to start, but in the long run, we could put in a cafe and use the "ex-restaurant" building to our advantage, then we could put a children's area in. Parents could volunteer to read to children, and the other parents could rome about the bookstore buying stuff.


That also went over great.


Kelly, Katelyn, Me, and the two Treys went down to the sports bar and chilled for a few hours awaiting the award ceremony.

There was a huge amount of awards being given out, but the only way you could get to states was if you get first place overall. There was about 15-20 people i guess per category.

Now here comes the part I liked.

I won 3rd in sales, 3rd in comprehension, 2nd in some other small category thing, and then I won first overall. So technically I won 1st 2nd and 3rd in my category.

But i get to go to states, and i think thats in Norfolk. Wish me luck.

Dreams

Are symbolic unto yourself.



They're the only place you can be truly honest with your own person.



This world is a world bent for destruction, a world of sin and chaos.



In dreams it is you alone, and events of influence.



They alter depending on your true perception of what is happening, or what happened.



Until recently, I haven't dreamt or remembered a dream in over a year.



I was fine with who i was, I didn't need any confirmation cause I've always been honest with myself.



My dreams show me now what i seek, what i really long for.



I would be ridiculed just because of my present situation, so I will not express these with you.

"Some things in life never stop. The cycle of water never stops flowing through the air and clouds and ground. The stars and planets never stop spinning around the sun. The wind never stops blowing, it just goes somewhere else. These things, we know these things just happen. There's no logic, no rhyme or reason, it just goes somewhere else. And just like the stars are constantly in motion and the wind just changes where it decides to dance, my love for you will never stop growing. It is one of the strange mysterious facts of life that can't quite be explained, but nonetheless, you have to just accept it and put your faith into it. I love you, and I always will........ I know we each have our own 'wind' that chooses to dance for a certain time or to a place, but know this; wherever our winds take us, gentle breezes or tornados that try to destroy our lives together, I refuse to give up. I won't let go."

This is one of my driving forces, it influences me and my dreams. And now you know, let the ridicule, and pain begin.... again.

I'll float by on the tranquil planes, as I watch the tornado come and destroy. I will no longer jump in its path, for in that I will change. I will give up, I will no longer persue my dreams, hopes, or ambitions. That is not my nature, so I will sit, and watch, and just hope other winds i know haven't been dragged into this vortex of torture and deception.

Maybe their dreams will tell them where they are, for if they live off the perceptions of other people, they will be destroyed without awareness.

Thunderstorms on the radio, we still sleep soundly.

Make a wish

Every night i seem to look at the clock at exactly 11:10.

It reminds me of "11:11." You know, make a wish.

I miss that "11:11" thing, I wonder who still appreciates that besides me.

The Art of Researching

So I've been putting off this research paper.

It's supposed t be 6 pages long.

I tend to make things as brief as possible.

Also I have this problem of summarizing everything pretty much as basic as possible when it comes to objective things.

I wrote the entire history of guitar starting at the lute in under 3 pages... Now its time for the bull-shitting.

Los videos juegos

So, I realized today i only play those one player video games if I'm depressed.

Halo, Smash Bros, Double dash, and things that you can have a group play, yeah i'll play those anytime someone else can do it, too.

But as for things like Final Fantasy, or Oblivion. I noticed that over the past 4 years of my life, since i moved here, i've only played after a tragedy.

Tragedy 1:

I moved here. No offence to virginians, but virginia kinda blows. Its slow paced, and boring.
I got into video games, I didnt have many friends. So i just isolated myself, thinking I wasn't good enough really, or that i'd just be wasting other people's time. I had lost my girlfriend, and a few best friends because of moving.....

Tragedy 2:

I'm failing classes again. I lack motivation. Everything I try to do seems to just blow up in my face.

Tragedy 3:

My dad dies. This one really screws me over. I torture myself and the people around my by lack of motivation, i try and i try, but i can't pull myself away, its like a drug. and i apologize.

Tragedy 4:

Her....

I can't believe it took me this long to figure out what I do when i'm depressed. I mean, i dont cut, i have recently, but i dont know. I'm pretty sane, but I guess instead of how a lot of people will work out, cut themself, cry, or isolate themself.... I just do all of it.

When it enters another day of depression, i feel like I'm worthless. I workout to try and put some self confidence in myself. As the day progresses I play games, anything to get my mind off of what's going on. Then i feel like i want to hang out with some friends, but i never bring myself to dial phone numbers. When the day is almost over, i just cry, i have cut before, and it actually does make your body release a chemical that calms you. So when you told me "every drop of blood seems to be a dissappearing problem," you were right, at least medically. But nonetheless, i still hate cutting, whether or not i can be a hypocrite.

To be

If to breathe in is to inadvertently exhale then:

To make a promise is to lie.

To be bound is to know of freedom.

To be intelligent is to know of stupidity.

To forgive is to be sorry.

To be mature you must recognize children.

To take the high road you must know the low road exists.